i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
well I can't set my house on fire every night
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
