I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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