Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
