I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
