Where is the hickey?
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
