One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
