please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
