yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
