I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
