Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Randomize
