But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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