No stitches, just platelets and will power
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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