A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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