Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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