oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
