I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
