I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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