We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
