Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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