CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Randomize
