I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
