You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Randomize
