2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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