Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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