Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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