I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Randomize
