im having a threesome with these popsicles
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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