Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
