Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Success! We fucked roommates!
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
