and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
