i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
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