if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
