I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
