Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Randomize
