dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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