I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
