I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize
