okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
