WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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