there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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