I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
