thus making me awesome and them whores
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
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