I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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