I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Randomize
