Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
