this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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