You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize
