Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
