3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
