is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
