Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I had to cum in my sink.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
