so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
